Broken Lullaby
by ReddAlice
Summary: After a comment during a benefit... Duo is filled with doubt, anger, and sadness that even grasps at Quatre. Did his mother love him, could she be proud of a killer? He'll never know. !(COMPLETE)!
1. Official Author's Note

**A QUICK NOTE FOR BROKEN LULLABY**-

The following story is **_completed_** and will be posted in two parts; I just think 31 pages are too long for one post. I even had to delete my startlingly long paragraph over what inspired me to write a fic that coincides with the manga/TV series timeline COMPLETELY! It took a little bit of research, and there will be more explanations towards the end of the fic for people who haven't watched the whole series, endless waltz, or read the manga.

I even took a bit of time to set the story up with a general date, which if you start counting, still is in the canon timeline. 

Hopefully me editing is satisfactory, I will continue to work for fluent sentence that would even satisfy my anal retentive English teacher. 

I hope to hear from all of you, thank you for giving my story a chance. 

**Warning**: Angst and Or. Ch.

**Disclaimer**: Shin Kidousenki New Mobile War Chronicle Gundam Wing A.C. was created by Hajime Yatate & Yoshiyuki Tomino and is licensed to Bandai Entertainment, Sunrise, and Satsu Agency. ~-~...If you think I own any prior listed... A psychiatrist and straightjacket is complimentary on your way out. May you get the help needed, and pray it's not genetic. I do, however, own Amanda; she is my heroine and the image I hold of my best friend and her two year old she works tooth and nail to support.

**PLEASE CLICK TO THE NEXT CHAPTER FOR BROKEN LULLABY! THANKS!**

-_ReddAlice_-


	2. Broken Lullaby: Part 1 of 2

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**B_roken_ L**_ullaby_:**I**

**-B**y** R**edd**_Alice_-**

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**Author's Note:**  This story has a lot of feelings behind it I hope you enjoy it. For anyone who will honor me with criticism I just want to say, I gladly accept all forms of your opinion and am very grateful for you taking time to let me hear them. Thank you.  

**Song**: Lullaby - _Key the Metal Idol_ (anime), I hate Everything About you - _Three Days Grace_, Fighter - _Christine Agulara_, Ex-girlfriend - _Nodoubt_

(199)-(-)-(_Duo's Room_)-(-)-(-)

God's grace… 

Duo smiled admiring his own reflection with detachment. "You clean up nicely."  When had he grown up so much? Last week he was roaming cold the streets, dirty, unwanted. Only a few nights ago he was watching his surrogate family burn to ash inside an ornate cage. Just yesterday he was manning Deathscythe and fighting in a complex war. 

I love you… 

Now he was suited up in a fine tux that he paid for with his own honest money, going to a dinner benefit Quatre was hosting for the rebuilding of L-5. He had volunteered to help raise the money for basic housing construction costs; this benefit was only the start of the work Quatre had planned, and Duo was co-hosting.

Acutely aware of his movements in the mirror, Duo brushed back an unruly strand of hair that had fought free from his braid. Maybe it was time to let go of the past and cut off his mane? He was always threatening it with plans of shaving in the morning when he couldn't get his hair to come untangled, but those harsh words were forgotten when he saw the masterful plait it wove. It was his equivalent of a stuffed bear a child refused to sleep without, and maybe now at 19, it was time to let go.

"Hey Duo, are you coming?" Quatre thrust his head into Duo's bedroom, one hand modestly covering his eyes. "You clothed?"

"Yeah, Quatre, all pressed, primped, and read to go."

Dubiously sluggish, Quatre removed his hand, his face lighting up. "Wow! Duo, you look _amazing_." Unsure, Duo gave himself one more glance, so the satin blue vest _hadn't_ been too much. "Duo, don't worry! You look fantastic. No one will recognize you. If you were a girl I'd say this reminds me of Cinderella-"

"Hey, man! _Watch_ it." Duo laughed. "Obviously _not_ being female, I _still_ reminded you of Cinderella...but thanks, I needed a raving review."-He paused and picked up his jacket- "_Okay_,let's go."

"I'm glad to have such a good looking man presenting along side me."

"Trowa and Heero are good lookin' too, one of them could do it, probably do it a bit better."

"Yes, but they'd scare everyone away...and all we would have is their pennies that got dropped in the stampede. With you up there smiling they'll probably be throwing hundreds-"

"I don't strip."

Quatre shot him a look, "liar."

Just you… 

(-)-(-)-(_Winner Hall - 8 pm- _)-(-)-(-)

Wufei checked his watch; Heero was starting to get on his nerves. Every few minutes he would look up at the clock above the far left entrance, then adjust his coat all the meantime remaining silent about his concern. Not once did he ask why Duo was late, but rather let the said question hang in the air around him. The thirtieth time he repeated the sequence of actions, he stopped mid routine. 

Curiously, Wufei turned around to see, though he knew, what had averted disaster. Had Heero completed one more round, Wufei would have drowned him in the punch bowl. Surprise, surprise, it was Duo...looking...really..._really_...good.

Heero ghosted up from the table and melted through the crowd as if he was about to accept some god-ordained mission.

"Duo!" A female cried, the voice's owner cutting off Heero and hugging Duo. "Holy…" She trailed. "You look great!"

Duo rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Not so shabby yourself, Hilde. How are you?"

Hilde nodded, "Really good aside from this hellish dress." Had she only turned around, maybe she would have felt the hole being burned into her back by to incensed cobalt eyes. "Seriously though, Duo, you look...I don't know...really pretty, really important...I mean you'd make your mother so proud."

(-)-(-)-(_Quatre's Private Limo -Half past midnight-_)-(-)-(-)

Quatre pursed his lips; Duo had remained quit the entire evening, and remained so even in the car on the way home. There was something on his mind, flickering in his wide indigo eyes. Apparently, Quatre would have to start a conversation, because Duo wasn't volunteering any information. "_Hey_, Duo you where superb tonight!"

Duo nodded a bit, his chin resting in his hand sullenly. "T-yeah…"-he shook his head-"thanks."

 "At first I thought those jokes were a little inappropriate, but actually, they loosened everyone up. Your probably inspired those tycoons to donate more than pocket change. _I_ didn't even believe the number when it was added up!"-Unnerving silence-"Duo, you okay?"

"Yeah, just lost in thought." Duo replied distantly, watching the street laps blur through the tinted window of the limo.

"Apparently…" Quatre murmured. "Whatchya thinking, Duo?"

Duo sat up straight, and then leaned back into his seat across from Quatre. "About parents."

Quatre froze, that was a touchy subject for everyone. Wufei's parents died on the explosion on L5, he did a little speech during the benefit in their honor, seeing how he was the sole survivor and son to the clan leader. Trowa had confided once that he never knew his parents, but wished he had; and Heero just never spoke of it. Which left Quatre and Duo, everyone one was well aware that Quatre's mother died, and his father was assassinated. Then how about Duo? Man of mysteries, man of emotional silence and secrets. 

"What about parents, Duo?" Quatre finally managed.

Duo cleared his throat adverting his gaze back to just beyond the window, or maybe reality. "I wonder if my mom would..._could_ honestly be proud of me."

"Your mother loves you, of course she's proud." Quatre said quickly, almost hesitantly, he himself had asked that question many times.

"I don't know that, I don't know her, never have, neither of them." Duo finally dropped his intense stare on Quatre, "My father too. I don't think they could love a guy who killed so many people."

Quatre shook his head, "No, they couldn't Duo, but they could love their son who saved many more."

For a moment, Duo seemed to consider it, then he shook his head and said, "They never knew their son, they couldn't love their son." Quatre opened his mouth to protest, but Duo cut him off. "I know this, because I never knew them and I don't love them solely on the fact that they are my biological parents. I don't love them, because I never knew them. Can't know something that's not there, ya know. I'm not gonna believe it because someone said it." He continued. 

Quatre was at a loss for words, his heart throbbing loudly in his ears. Did his mother love him? The son she died giving birth to? "I love my mom." He finally said, hurting deep inside for his lost friend, and for himself.

Duo shrugged slipping his loosened tie from under his collar, "That's good for you." He responded stiffly.

"I love my mom…" Quatre whispered. _But does she love me? I'm everything her and dad fought against._

(179)-(-)-**(**_Late Afternoon_**)**-(-)-(-)

_"You look beautiful today, Mandy. Why don't you step into my office, I'll help you finish that car later, together…"_

(179)-(-)-(_Early Evening_)-(-)-(-)

_Pausing to catch her breath, Amanda brushed her long chestnut hair back from her face. She should replait it, but she didn't particularly want to take the 20 minutes extra just to fix her exercise-tousled mane. If she didn't, her mother would wonder what was up, and then she would have to come up with some not so far fetched excuse as to where she had been since school's release 5 hours earlier._

_Frowning, she pulled a fine toothcomb from her bag and began to work her fingers through her hair, untangling expertly as she went. It was getting so long; it was far past her rear. Perhaps she should butcher it? Wasn't that the latest style? Wearing it in pixie bobs? But something about her unbelievably thick brunette tresses made her feel like the princess her daddy always had told her she was, but that was before his death, her mother's cancer, and long before Ilia- Mr. Ivankovich, her mother's boss._

_Satisfied with the braid, she slung it over her shoulder and entered the hall of her apartment building. _

_Mrs. Alexander was waiting, sitting in a lawn chair, in the hall. "Mandy! Where have you been?" She nearly yelped, jumping up from her chair and hobbling over to her 15-year-old daughter. "I was so worried. I thought-...I thought…"-tears formed in her weary blue eyes-"I thought..._they_ might have-_…"

_"Mama! Don't sit out here it's chilly, ya know!" Amanda admonished ushering her mother back inside their cluttered apartment. _

_Sitting her mother in the living room/dining room/kitchen table, Amanda went to the cupboards. "Mama, would you like some tea? I can start on dinner too."_

_"Sweetie, don't worry about it. I'm _your_ mother_, _I pray taking care of people isn't genetic, that way you won't have to deal with yourself when you're a mother!"_

_"Haha…" Amanda muttered bringing a pot of water to a boil._

_"Amanda…"_

_Amanda stiffed to the sound of her full name, "Yes, mama?"_

_"Where were you today?"_

_"Nowhere mama."_

_"Were you at the garage again?"_

_Amanda sighed pouring the steaming liquid into a round mug, "Yes."_

_"Mandy, you don't have to work in my place, sweetie. We'll be fine. Mr. Ivankovich said I could come back when I feel better. Till then, he would keep me on paid-for sick days deal."_

But that's why he's paying you, because I'm doing the work_. "Yes, mama."_

_"Good, now lets have some tea!" Mrs. Alexander beamed._

(179)-(-)-(_Next Day -9am-_)-(-)-(-)

_"I hope for your sake your mother doesn't find out your skipping school now, you'll give her an aneurysm!" Helen barked._

_Amanda flagged away her friend, "Yeah, yeah. She'll _have _an aneurysm if I _don't!"

(179)-(-)-(_10:30 am_)-(-)-(-)

_Stashing her bags inside a large truck tire, Amanda changed into her overalls quickly. She had a lot of work to do, and little time to do it in, and if she hurried, then maybe she could spend some time with Ilia. _

_While she put on gloves something caught her attention, the door to Ilia's door was cracked open. He was a private man, so it was unusual. _

_Quietly she slipped her gloves back off, and tossed them aside. Maybe it was a secret message for her to come check out; maybe he wanted to spend some alone time with her._

_The closer she came, the more clear several voices became, one belonging to Ilia Ivankovich._

_"Mr. Barton, I'm sorry, but I won't help the war, I want it to stop." Ilia said._

_"I don't suppose you'd reconsider, Mr. Ivankovich. I can be quite persuasive...if need be. Will you change your mind in the near future?"_

_"No."_

_"Then, we'll have to make some other sort of arrangement. Maybe your family can be of some service to me, a little sister perhaps, or a decrepit father?" -Just then, Amanda leaned to hard on the door, and she tumbled forward into the office, and Mr. Barton smiled. "Maybe...a nosy little grease monkey."_

_At the slander, Amanda glared up but over estimated Mr. Barton's head level and came upon to very frightened angry indigo eyes; Ilia was starring at her with unreadable fiery eyes…_

_Deliberately slow, Mr. Barton walked by her and out of the office. "I'm sure you'll come up with terms I can agree with."_

(179)-(-)-(_Shortly thereafter_)-(-)-(-)

_"What the hell are you doing here!?" Ilia snapped slamming his hands onto his desk. "What? Why are you here?"_

_Amanda had never heard him so angry, "I-I was coming to work, I thought-...I thought…uh…" She stuttered._

_"Amanda, I want you out of my garage, don't ever come back, I never want to see you again. You _or_ your mother."_

(179)-(-)-**(**_Two Months Later -10 pm-_**)**-(-)-(-)__

_"Oh, man-o-man-o-man…" Amanda hopped nervously about Helen's huge bathroom, her friend sitting along side the garden tub eyeing her._

_"Mandy, stop it, your freaking me out." The timer dinged, and Amanda and Helen exchanged fretful looks. "What are you going to do if it's blue?"_

_"If it's white...then I am gonna be happy that I can go to school and live a normal life, ya know?"-Her breath caught in her chest-"But...if it's blue, I am going to love my baby more than anyone ever could ya know? He or she is going to be happy! I'll be a great mom, just like mine."_

_Helen smiled feeling inferior under her friend's determination and natural glow, but it was something she had become accustomed to. "Good, if anyone can do it, _you_ can!"_

_Amanda nodded firmly and reached for the pregnancy test. What ensued could only be described as sheer ambivalence. At first her face was a sallow color, her eyes glossed, then a weak smile broke the cloud, and tears freely streamed down her white cheeks. "I guess I am gonna have to back up those words...ya know…"_

_"Oh…_Amanda_…" Helena rose from her seat and wrapped her arms around her sobbing friend. "If anyone can, _you_ can." She whispered into her hair._

(179)-(-)-(_Hours Later_)-(-)-(-)__

_Helen dropped a pile of posh comforters on her friend's still body, and snuggled down next to her. "We should write him a lullaby…" She suggested poking Amanda's stomach through the blankets._

_"Yeah...lets write him a song." Amanda sat up, her long hair hanging around her face in tangled mats. _

_"It shouldn't be a problem, I mean, you wrote that play for the school didn't you? And aced every English course…Maybe all that was preparing you to write something that would change someone's life. Something to ease a restless spirit of a baby."_

_Amanda raised her eyebrow, "Uh huh...I think you need sleep."_

_"Yeah...so do I."_

_When Amanda had time she toiled away at the song, but never got far._

**(182)-(-)-(_Two ½ Years Later_)-(-)-(-)**

_Life had never been exactly easy for Amanda, she had worked very hard right along side her mother till she died two and a half years ago at 16. Then at the funeral she fell into premature labor, and was driven to the hospital in a Hurst. Naturally, after such trauma, the birth had unusual complications._

_The end result, however, was one beautiful healthy…baby boy. Helen arrived soon after and stayed the night next to her exhausted best friend. Two days later, Amanda was released out in the wild world, alone and not even seventeen. Regardless, Amanda picked up three minimum paying jobs a week after her discharge, and barely scratched by putting her son into daycare, and paying for a babysitter. _

_It took a year before she was settled into a small apartment on the bad side of town, but she was able to quit two jobs and maintain 8 hour shifts 6 days a week at a dinner while her son terrorized the daycares, and old ladies who had volunteered for the sitting job upon seeing his father's amazing indigo eyes._

_"Chance...mama's home." Amanda called, whipping her brow and opening her arms to the bundle already waddling to the door at super-fast-baby-speed. "How's my boy?"_

_"Ms. Alexander, we need to talk…"_

_Amanda swept her baby into her arms, the obnoxious two year old giggling pleased. "Mrs. King, I hope everything went well?_

_"It most certainly did not!" The old bag huffed, mascara filling in the wrinkles below her hallow eyes. "He's a terror."_

_Amanda hid her smile, a terror she was proud of. "What did he do?" She asked in mock-defense._

_Mrs. King shoved by the mother and son, grabbing her purse and making her way towards the door. "A more apt question would be, young lady, what didn't he do!?" She shrieked.  _

_Waiting for the door to close, Amanda rocked her wriggling son on her arms. "Now, Chance, why did you have to chase another one away?" She grinned wryly. "No one will baby-sit you, I just don't know _what_ to do with _you_!" _

_Chance giggled profusely, his laughter as contagious as a little boy as cute as he was could be. "Awe, momma loves you. We'll figure something out! Don't we always?" The two-year-old nodded, his shaggy brown hair flopping about. _

_"I bet you wish momma could stay here with you all the time, don't you, sweetie?" Chance bobbed his head up and down, his eyes twinkling with a sort of understanding that only a mother could achieve with her offspring._

_Amanda sighed deeply, and hugged her son. "Chan, you're so beautiful...I love you so much."_

(181)-(-)-(_Three Days Later, Early Morning_)-(-)-(-)

_Amanda couldn't believe her ears when the shrieking doorbell echoed throughout her apartment at 5 am. If it was Jesus Ortiz at the door again asking about marriage, she was going to commit murder, Amanda glanced at her sleeping son, or maybe not. She could dream, couldn't she?_

_Hurriedly, she climbed from her war stack of mismatched covers, and snuggled her baby into the blankets so he wouldn't stir while she was away. If they, whoever they was, woke her son up hell would rain from the ceiling and burn them to death in the most agonizing way she could conjure._

_Amanda blearily swung open the door to come face to face with her landlord, Milo. "Hey, Milo...good morning."_

_The old man nodded ruefully, "How are you doing, Miss Mandy?"_

_Unaware of her own state of disarray, Amanda pushed back her long unkempt hair. "Good, Milo, you?"_

_"Not so good, Miss Mandy."_

_"Oh? Why is that?" Deep in her chest, Mandy could feel it._

_"Is your boy asleep?" Milo asked quietly._

_Amanda felt herself stirring awake, ready to defend her case. "Milo, it's the crack of dawn, God's even asleep."_

_Milo laughed shallowly, "Mandy, why don't you step upstairs so me and the misses can talk to you. If you want, you can bring your boy...but it's kinda important."_

_"You're kicking us out." Amanda concluded flatly without skipping a beat._

_"I'm sorry, Mandy. It's just...your rent is always late...and Mrs. And Mr. King, and the wife is always complaining bout your son being so darn loud. We made an exception with you when we said no children, but...or hospitality has to end here. I'm sorry."_

_Amanda felt her fist bawl up, and crack right into the door. "Well _fuck_!" In the background, Chance began to cry._

_"Miss Mandy, there's no need for that sort of language." Milo hushed._

_Amanda turned her scowl on him, a rarity with someone so good-natured. "Milo shut the fuck up you pussy whipped bastard." With that, she slammed the door and went to sink down next to her wailing son._

(181)-(-)-**(**_One Months Later_**)-**(-)-(-)__

_Helen had been kind enough to hold all of Amanda's stuff while she prepared to go off to an Ivy League university on L-5. However, her best friend didn't have time or the resources to baby sit Chance on Amanda's only day off so she could locate a new place to stay. _

_The entire morning had started off a disaster, Chance came down with a cold, had his cough was enough to wrench the coldest hearts. Helen bought some medications with her own money, and told Amanda not to concern herself with debts. They were best of friends after all, and had been since they were six and hating every bleeding second of kindergarten._

_After a small fuss over what chance wanted to wear, the little two year old with a mind of his own decided on a yellow superman t-shirt and a pair of black coveralls. Over course the shaggy haired child looked like a ragamuffin, Amanda loved in him all the more for it._

_Next there was a mother vs. son battle over a stroller, Chance wanted walk, and Amanda wanted him snuggled in a seat so he could recover from his cold and sleep. Nevertheless, Chance wanted to walk. Of course with motherly sternness she won, and chance willingly climbed into his seat, but soon after seeing the massive forming pout of resignation she let him walk. She had won, that's all that mattered, end of story. _

_ So Amanda sat with her son on her lap inside the bus depot trying to figure out what she was going to do. It was impossible to take another day off and feed her growing son, she couldn't take hand outs forever, but she had to do what she had to do. _

_Her pride was shredded already from mooching off of Helen, regardless of the fact her parents were so far from hard up for money, that they almost bleed cash. "What am I going to do, baby? If I take off another day...Chris'll fire me for sure...but I don't have anyone to watch you, I don't have _any _money for a sitter...the bank won't lend me money...and I can't keep hurting Helen."_

_Just then, Chance looked up with his wide clear eyes, the look of a child who had hope and faith solely in his mother. "Mama…" He mumbled sleepily clutching at the excess fabric of her sweater. It tugged her heart into despair, tears forming in her eyes. Amanda ran a finger down her son's flawlessly soft warm cheek, and smiled shakily. _

_The little boy in her arms had no expectations of her, just love. She could not let him down; she had to do well for him...more than she had done for her dying mother. Amanda's soul wouldn't betray those beautiful innocent eyes, his father's…_

_"That's bastard." It was a rarity when she thought of that self-centered prick, the one who had promised her the world and in the end left her mother and pregnant self on the streets. As many insults she could think of, all of which she fully planned to scream at him one day, she felt a deep love for him amongst that hate. She swore she had felt it returned from him, but his last words stated other wise. That one-day would come today…_

_Amanda gathered Chance tightly in her arms; he was getting so heavy, a lean and strong little boy. "Sweetie, lets go see Daddy."_

_Chance blinked at her, Daddy was a word he had never known; he had no concept of a father, just the image of his sole protection, his mother._

(181)-(-)-(_Just Three Hours Afterward_)-(-)-(-)

_Tracking down the current residence of Ilia Ivankovich was harder that Amanda had imagined. It turned out that he had landed a huge deal with a large corporation and was moved to one of the colonies that loomed amongst the stars at night. _

47892 N. Grandview Avenue

Level 1, Section 1, Col. 2

_"Mandy...be careful okay?" Helen sniffed, her eyes red from crying as she hugged the little boy she been watching grow up. "If that bastard does anything, anything at all! Give me a call...I'll borrow money-"-Amanda narrowed her eyes and shook her head-"_Fine!_ Be that way! I'll steal it and come and get you. I'll highjack a shuttle, then become a nun! Yes, a nun! I will hide us in a convent!!" She proclaimed throwing her hands above her head.  _

_"You'd drop out of school for me?" Amanda asked with a quirked brow._

_Helen nodded, "I'd do anything for you and Chan, you're my family." It was true, her parents had always been gone, and they were sisters in everything but blood._

_Amanda laughed adjusting the bag on her back, and two over each shoulder. "Like I'd let you." She stated finally, sweeping her bundled kid up in her arms._

_"I love taking care of kids, you never know! If this job as a lawyer doesn't work out, next time you see me…" She trailed tapping Chance's little nose. "I'll be in black and white like a penguin." Chance snorted. "Promise you two will see me again?"_

_"That's a promise! I love you, Hel." Amanda said hugging her son for encouragement._

_Helen smiled, "I love you too, Mandy." Chance eyed her, his delicate brows wiggling comically. "You too, Chan."_

_"Love you too, aunee-elen. Bai Bai!"_

_Both of the young women starred in astonishment, regardless of his incessant laughter, and daycare appraisal, he hardly uttered a word, and now he was waving goodbye as if he was a mute mimicking his mom._

_Not soon after, without a tear left to shed in her thin body, Amanda packed her son aboard a shuttle and watched the flight attendant tear up the ticket she had spent nearly every last penny to buy. Safe to say, at the very least, Chance was as enthused as any little superman fan could be when flying into outer space._

_Hundreds of scenarios played through her head, she had never gotten around to telling Ilia about his son. Partially because she never told her mother who the father was, but somehow Amanda felt her mother knew, a particular scenario playing in her mind._

"Mandy, you can't help who you love, but you can turn away."

"What do you mean, mama?"

"I mean...love can make happiness, but can't buy safety, not for you...or for…." She quieted, Mrs. Alexander was well aware of Ilia's personal affairs in the black market as well as the slight expansion in her daughter's abdomen. 

Mandy turned towards the sink and viciously scrubbed away at a single plate. 

_"But it can buy food, mama." Amanda reasoned, Chance looking at her from his small bag of complementary peanuts. Slowly she averted her gaze back to the little boy, "Chan...did you just throw that nut at that old sleeping man." She whispered._

_Her son hastily stashed the bag under his tray, as a stewardess made a sweep of the isles looking for the projectiles specialist, and looked up innocently at his mom._

_Amanda smirked, nothing escapes the mother of a toddler, and even the tiny culprit and a tiny airborne peanut knew that._

(181)-(-)-(_The next day, Evening_)-(-)-(-)

_The relief in Amanda's sigh when she finally, and not to mention stiffly, waddled from the docking area with her sparse baggage and son was far more than incriminating. Each flight attendant stared at her and her child suspiciously. The boy was truly a comedy relief, and his childish sense of humor was well needed in such a drab world, Amanda noted honestly to herself. _

_However, putting the butter from his dinner roll in the hand of the man the seat in front of him, though done expertly, may have been a little to much for the exhausted crew to handle. Amanda had been dozing when the old man yelled in sheer fury, and whirled around and shouted obscenities that would have made the late Mrs. Alexander roll in her gave. However the man underestimated the power of an enraged mother, or just hadn't thoroughly thought of the repercussions of harassing Amanda's only child._

_ The moment the man's hand went back to 'discipline' the 'delinquent,' Amanda was awake and already following through with a punch that would have made a golden-glove heavy weight flinch in empathy. _

_It was safe to say, the man was still out cold, and couldn't threaten with lawsuits; though Amanda was sure the case would fold within itself if it were ever brought to trial. _

_With a glimmer of amazement, and even a little smugness, Amanda looked at the livid skin around her dark knuckles. _

_"Wow, mama." Chance finally said after having retained his silence for a full hour after the incident. "You strong."_

_"I love you, Chan...and Hell hath no mercy like a mother protecting her baby."  _

_Chance didn't say any more, rather he clutched tighter to his mother's pale hand, comforted that she was the bestest mommy in the universe, and could even defeat the butter man._

_Unable to deny herself the simple pleasure of reveling in her own child's approval and need for her, Amanda smiled, and squeezed his hand. "I love you."_

_"Love you too mama."_

_Continuing with her uncomplicated delight with her son, Amanda glanced at the address she had jotted down back on Earth._

47892 N. Grandview Avenue

Level 1, Section 1, Col. 2

(181)-(-)-(_A day of searching later, Mid-afternoon-_)-(-)-(-)

_Amanda beat her own disquiet into submission, damn them to hell; she would do this for her son. Her revenge would have to wait, she hoped he was in ruin and gave their son the last of his money, then died in a gutter a drunkard and a bastard._

_What she wanted was not what she got. 47892 N. Grandview Avenue was the picture definition when she thought of successful crooked defense attorneys, not a garage owner and hot item peddler. She was lightly grateful she had taken a small amount of time in the hotel room to clean up Chance and herself._

_Her bewilderment was swiftly exchanged for resentment, all this time he had been living it up while his son took seconds. A white rage burned through her veins, and any unease she once held disappeared. It may have been her fault that she didn't tell Ilia about his son, but not once did he search out the 15 and ½ year old girl he made love to, and then tossed aside. Without a care he helped shorten her mother's life, and cheapened her love she had so cherished in her heart. Now eighteen, holding her son's hand for the reassurance she would always need, Amanda pushed open the large revolving doors and entered the well-furnished lobby.  _

_A slightly older secretary glance up over her thin black rimed glasses and raised an eyebrow, "May I help you?" _

_Whether it was the ample chest, sausage blonde curls, trim body, or snotty attitude, Amanda took an immediate dislike to the woman. "I'm here to see Mr. Ivankovich."_

_"Do you have an appointment?" Amanda didn't need to hire a psychic to see where this was going._

_"No."_

_The secretary leaned forward over the gold plated desk, the skin between her eyes creasing slightly in distaste towards small yelling thing standing at Amanda's side, even though the boy was dead silent and politely so. "You can't see Mr. Ivankovich without an appointment." She said leaning back and blatantly sizing up Amanda by her appearance._

_Amanda didn't need to lie to herself, she had never been unattractive, and with one look at her son you could tell both of his parents were lookers of an ethereal breed. Yet, the less that cheap attire, though clean, didn't make her feel an ounce of her own beauty. "It's really important that I get in to see him."_

_The woman smiled, and said slowly, "I said...I _am_ sorry...Mr....Ivankovich...is _not_ seeing _anyone_ without an _appointment_._"

_Amanda clenched her fists, and gritted her teeth. "Then may I make an appointment, please?"_

_"I'm sorry, we only make in advanced over the phone appointments." The secretary said with a self-satisfied smirk._

_Chance fidgeted under the density of the air accumulating between the two women. "Then here, hand me your phone, I'll call...and you can let me in...in lets say…"-she glanced at the clock-"five minutes or I will go up myself."_

_The women's mouth fell open, then shut. "I-I won't allow you to go up stairs without an appointment." While the woman spoke at Amanda with auctioneer-worthy speed, Amanda read the board against the back wall: Names, Floors, and office numbers. _

_For a second time Amanda was surprised, Ilia Ivankovich's name was at the top of the list in embossed silver print on the 42nd floor, the master suite. _

_"-Remove you." The secretary finished._

_Amanda smiled pleasantly, "Listen you bubbling satirical blonde airhead. Thanks for your time, but I'm late." With that, Amanda hoisted her child onto her hip and made her way to the elevator._

_Once in, Chance waved as the polished doors slide shut, "Bai bai!" He shouted at the sputtering blonde._

_When the doors finally opened after what seemed to be an eternity there was a small astonishment waiting for them. The woman from downstairs was staring them down; she was surprisingly well put together for someone who apparently flew to the top floor._

_Chance made an O shape with his mouth, which his mother did as well in turn._

_"I said...no appointment…no seeing Mr. Ivankovich." Super flying bimbot said in a rigid stately manner._

_Still the confused duo just stared._

_The woman shook her head in agitation, "There is another elevator."_

_Amanda nodded, "I'm going to go see him. You don't have to give me permission." She informed, stepping out of the elevator and lowering Chance to the floor._

_All over again the secretary repeated her first offence, next to breathing, and looked down at the child. "No children."_

_"He's _not_ a pet, he's _my son_." Amanda hissed, "Get out of my way before I eliminate you, the only obstacle." She snapped her eyes gleaming dangerously, as she shoved past the woman with her child in tow._

_"At _least _tell me who you are so I can call him and let him know you're here." The woman pleaded, her inflexible conduct drained._

_Without thinking, or stopping in the hall towards her ultimate goal, Amanda said. "I'm his wife." Before she knew it, she was whirled around and in face off mode with the secretary from hell._

_"_Excuse_ me." She spat._

_Amanda felt her eyebrows recede into her hairline, "You're excused." She quipped. _

_"_I'm_ his wife."_

| TBC |

Note - Be expecting the last 15 pages very soon! Thank you everyone who reviews!


	3. Broken Lullaby: Part 2 of 2

(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)

**B_roken_ L**_ullaby_:**II**

**-B**y** R**edd**_Alice_-**

(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)****

**(**181**)-(-)-(_Seconds Later_)-(-)-(-)**__

_Pain swelled in Amanda's heart. What had she expected? His life to be exactly the way she left it? Hardly, but she had never expected him to have moved on and forgotten her entirely; not to mention, to be replaced by princess Barbie in stilettos and red nails. Then again, she was just a girl _then_, and it was a short-lived illegal tryst..._

_"How old are you?" The woman asked envy darkening her words as she bitterly starred at Chance's round indigo eyes._

_"18."_

_She shook her head, "I'm 21!" She yelled, her porcelain face shading a light red. "I've known him for 8 years, we've been married 5! How long have you known him?"_

_"I haven't seen him in a while." Amanda said evasively. _

_Mrs. Ivankovich's face screwed up into an awful expression of hatred, "Don't think that I am going to let a tramp like you and your bastard child-"_

(182)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)

_Amanda walked into Ilia's office, ushered her son in behind her, and shut the door with a quite final click._

_"_Who are_-..."_

_Rubbing her fist, she looked up with ferocity glowing in her eyes, her visage the image of calm. "I'd call someone..." She said._

_Ilia stood at his desk, his face a shade paler than alabaster, his faultless gaze torn wide and visibly wounded by her presence. "_What_?"_

_"Your wife." Amanda answered curtly. "I doubt she'll be getting up anytime tonight, sorry if I've ruined dinner plans." She waited patiently for him to react, but instead he continued to stare, unconcerned about the unconscious broken nosed spouse lying spread-eagle in the hall. "So tell me, do you have five kids, a big house, and a picket fence?"_

_All at once feelings crashed into his features, "Mandy." He murmured nearly tripping over his desk as he staggered over to her and crushed her into his body. "Mandy."_

_Amanda shifted her gaze, not returning the fraught embraced. "Get off me, Ilia."_

_Taken aback, he dropped his lanky arms and stepped away. "Mandy..."_

_"Yes, we've established that I'm Mandy." She retorted hoarsely. Where were those insults she had planed? It wasn't supposed to be like this. _

_Returning to his physical assault, Ilia grabbed her hand and eyed the deep tissue bruising with anger. "_Who_ did this to you?"_

_"I did."_

_Ilia looked up, his eyes wide with confusion, "You?"_ Had he expected it to be some abusive man? Did he want her coming to him for help? __

_"On an asshole on the flight here, and not to mention your wife's face."_

_Her words finally registered, "Is she alive?"_

_"I hope not."_

_"Why..."_

_"She called my son a bastard."_

_Ilia's eyes gravitated to the floor, and then to the small feet planted squarely next to Amanda's. There a little boy stood, his hands on his hips, and scowling at him. Fruitfully, the toddler swatted at his biological father, and took hold of his mother's hand overprotectively. _

_"Don't touch." Chance advised with as threatening of a tone a child nearly three could muster._

_Ilia squatted down and looked the kid in the eye, "I won't."_

_Chance tugged his mother back, "Good. I don't like you."_

_Ilia's brow shot up, "Why?" Stubbornly, Amanda's son looked away. "Alright." Ilia assured standing back up and turning his heartened gaze to the runt's mother. "Mandy?"_

_"I need money." The words rolled out of her mouth rather quickly for her own liking, but as ashamed as she was, she was glad she didn't put much thought into it... or had she?_

_"Okay." Ilia affirmed, "How much?"_

_Amanda was at a loss for words. She had expected questions, a list of inquiries, and possibly rejection. Instead, she got: _How much?__

_"Not much, I'll pay every penny back." She swore._

_Ilia shook his had and staggered over to his desk still partially dazed. "No. I don't want you to. You keep it, every penny, and more if you and him need it." There was guilt there she could hear it. "Don't ever bring him here again, he can't see me..." He whispered as an afterthought._

_Wow, he was quickly jumping to conclusions! "Who said he was yours?" _

_With the presence she had always known him to command, Ilia turned and transfixed her with a hazy smile. "Are you telling me you slept with my father?"_

_Amanda threw her hands above her head, "What?! That's disgusting! He's probably dead."_

_"Do you know many men who look like me, Mandy? You act as though you'd have expected me to have never seen my own reflection, men posses' vanity as well. I can see my likeness, I can see me." He said watching Chance and smiling abstractedly._

_"Chan." Amanda instructed, "Go sit on that seat right there...don't move, please, for momma?"_

_"Yes mama." He mumbled sluggishly making his way to the low loveseat and crawling onto it. _

_"Mandy, come sit and talk." _

_They were quiet as Chance settled down and fell deep asleep from all the excitement he was proud to believe he caused the past few days._

_"How have you been, Mandy?" Ilia started slowly, his rich voice soothing, but injured_

_Amanda rubbed her temple feeling weak, "I've been-..._we've_ been fine up until the past few months."_

_"Why didn't you tell me?"_

_"Why did you fire me?"_

_"I don't want to talk about it."_

_"Suck it up, we all gotta do things we _don't want to_." Amanda growled adopting a motherly tone she had yet to ever use on a living being._

_Ilia eyed her for a moment, coming to the understanding this woman in front of him was a far cry from the vulnerable child he knew and tried to shield. Obviously, he messed up big time, because here she was...in the blue blaze of danger._

_"Mandy...that afternoon...you walked in on something you shouldn't have." Ilia neglected to say he traded his business and morals for her safety. "Mr. Barton is my benefactor and sole client now." He summarized. _

_She waved about at the ornate office, "One man got you all this?" Words clicked into place, and suddenly, Amanda felt like an ass.  _

"I'm sure you'll come up with terms I can agree with." Mr. Barton had said smoothly.__

_Amanda placed a hand over mouth and shook her head._

_"I'm glad you understand." He said avoiding the tear filled words he nearly died without saying once again. "Contact me if you need more money, but stay far..." He looked from his former lover to his only child he had never seen until moments ago. "Both of you stay away from me."_

_"Alright." Amanda agreed, listening to her mother in the back of her mind._

"I mean...love can make happiness, but can't buy safety, not for you...or for...." _Or for Chance, _mama_, you were always so right._

_Love was unsaid in the air, their eyes hardened by necessity, but their hearts breaking on the floor. It would have been easier had they both hated each other, or had Ilia truly just used the pretty girl and left her in her own mess, but it wasn't like that. Damn the world, it wasn't like that at all._

_A nebulous voice interrupted they time they had earned and used in silence, "Mr. Ivankovich." Came a man. "Master Dechem Barton is on his way upstairs."_

_Ilia's heart stopped. Not. Now. Hurriedly, he picked up his son, wishing desperately to linger in the moment and passed him to his mother. "Go."_

_"Where?" Amanda asked._

_Ilia stuffed a piece of paper in her sweater pocket, his hand brushing her hip. "Out the way you came, don't stop to speak to anyone, just ignore everyone like you are suppose to be there. Leave L-2."_

_Amanda nodded, and did just that, not even taking a moment to glance back at the man she had hated and wanted for what seemed like forever._

_Down the hall, she stepped over Mrs. Ivankovich's unconscious body, keeping her son against her body, and thanking God she was not blessed with a fussy child, because he rested his head on her shoulders and fell asleep again not seconds out of the door._

_On her way into the elevator, Amanda passed a man whom she presumed was Mr. Barton. He watched her like a hawk as she disappeared, stopping by a small inn-table, to see her off with an appreciative smirk._

_The money Ilia had given her, the slip of paper he had put in her pocket during the short-lived goodbye, had been quadruple the amount of money she had earned during Chance's life. It was more than enough to get a nice apartment, and to have to work less if she managed it correctly. After a long debate Amanda decided to stay on L-2 for a while, hoping for another opportunity to speak with Mr. Ivankovich. _

_Maybe even an opportunity to share her son with him someday..._

(184)-(-)-(A brief meeting between Ilia Ivankovich and Dechem Barton -7 pm_-_)-(-)-(-)

_Finally...Dechem's plans had come to full light._

_Ilia starred in utter disbelief, he would not take part in such an atrocity. He would not help kill any more people; the war was closer to coming to an end if he remained completely out of it. "I've had _enough_ of _you_, _enough_ of _Leia."  

_Dechem drummed his fingers along the gold panel of his subject's desk. "You don't know what you are saying. I can do this _with_ or with_out_ you, I don't need you anymore, yet out of the kindness of my heart I have allowed you to believe you are required. I own you; Ilia, you and everything that belongs to you are mine. Leia went to school to be a registered nurse at my medical facilities to help me..."-he let the emphasis ring around them-"but peruse her love for you and became your devoted secretary. Truly you don't want to leave my daughter heartbroken should some horrible mishap befall you?"_

_"I _don't_ care anymore. I _am_ finished."_

_"No, Ilia, I am finished." Dechem countered his voice finally betraying his mask; he was annoyed. "You have three seconds to rethink your decision and get me what I asked, or there will be horrible repercussions."_

_Without thinking, Ilia snapped back. "No!"_

_"_Fine_..."_

_Ilia mouth parted, Mr. Barton was being defeated to easily. "What?"_

_Dechem stood up and walked towards the door, "I warned you those years back, I was gentle, I eased you into this profession, I created you, I gave you everything, and you kept at you relentless and childish turn backs. I am done, and it is time you learn your lesson. Ilia...It is time to pay the devil your soul you sold."_

_Confused, Ilia's brow creased. "_What_?"_

_"The arrangement. I am going to go pay a ratty grease monkey and her illegitimate progeny a short visit. I'll give you 24 hours to find them."_

_"This is _not _a game! _I_ sent them away!" Ilia barked in panic. "They aren't on the colony."_

_Dechem stepped outside the door. "Aren't they? Hmn, I must be thinking of another longhaired brunette whore and her misbegotten kid. I could have sworn..." _

_As if stabbed, Ilia's heart bled down his ribs, his suffering pooling deep in his gut. "You kept tabs on them...you've know about my son all along...even when I didn't."_

_A chuckle fell from Dechem's lips as the cruelly curved, "Ilia, my pathetic son-in-law, I know everything. Only 24 hours..." He added as the door shut._

_"Mandy..." Ilia grabbed his jacket and picket up his phone, his mind scattered in a thousand dread filled directions. "_Hello_? I need to get a hold of a locations directory...All right...This is Ivankovich; I'm Dechem's son-in-law. Put me through...I don't have two days. Now...Yes, Yes...good... Thank you." _

(184)-(-)-(_-10:30 pm-_)-(-)-(-)

_Amanda seated herself at the small desk she had bought and lifted a pencil to compose, something she hadn't done in years. Maybe it was time she finished the song she and Helen had so wanted to write for Chance. It would be a great 4th year birthday gift, something for him to remember always. Not that she wanted to haunt her son and her grandchildren with a lullaby from an obsessed mother; she just wanted to give something to him...that would be immortally symbolic; something just for her baby. _

"I think it should be short and sweet...not all epic like, I mean, when you sing it to him...he should remember it!" _Helen had suggested_.

_Still, Amanda had a different idea of how her son's song should be._ "No, it should be a song, or a story, something with significance that'll mean more to him as he grows up. Something he'll never forget."__

_Helen had scrunched up her nose at the idea and turned her head, "_Classic is better, but you're the expert, not me. At least start it off with Hush now, just in case he's sniffling his little brains out_." Amanda had glared at her for a long 15 minutes after the remark._

_Diligently writing, reworking, and humming to herself, Amanda stayed up most of the night until she was satisfied with her own writing, and then fell into the blankets next her son in her quaint apartment and drifted off to sleep._

(-)-(-)-(_January 13th, 184 A.C. -6:50 pm-)_-(-)-(-)

_Amanda whipped the cake batter from her nose, and wondered if she should have invested in an apron. Then again, why would she want to look the part of a domesticated housewife? She sure in the hell wasn't one, not saying she didn't _want _to be one, just that she was incapable. Her personality was not grounded enough; big dreams, little girl. _

_"Chan..."_

_-CRACK-_

_"Chan. Please put the eggs down."_

_From the floor, the four year old looked up cleverly under his thick lashes as his mom. "Yes mama." He said getting on his knees and sliding the carton of eggs back onto the table. "Mama, what kind of cake are you making?"_

_"Vanilla." Amanda answered feeling her son crowed next to her leg trying to see. "Sweetie, why don't you grab the plastic stool from the living room and help me stir?"_

_"Yeah!" The four-year-old yelled, enthusiastically running from the room. He had become so active the past few months, he was so vigorous, and Amanda was delighted even more so by the fact that she could keep up with him. Amanda's mother had given birth to her when she was 35, age and hard work had always kept them from playing much._

_ This would be the best cake ever, Amanda gushed inwardly, and it would do her own mother proud. "See mama..." She said to herself, her head inclined slightly to the ceiling._

_Amanda beat the mix feeling her arm muscles working, a bit of the blend splattering her face. "Hey! Chan-Chan! Do you want sprinkles _in_ your cake_, or...just _on top of the chocolate frosting_!?" 

...Silence....__

_"Chan?" Amanda found herself dropping the spoon in batter and gradually making her way to the hall. It was her worst fears as a mother to one day hear her son's laughter stop. "Chance?" _

_"Heya mama!"_

_Amanda's heart beat again. "Chance? Where are you?"_

_"In the TV room mama!" _

Exactly where I told him to go, why was I worried? Still_...Amanda jogged the short distance to the living room, nearly tripping over the rug at the sight that awaited her. _

_"Look mama." Chance said craning his head to look at her from the feet of a familiar man. _

_"Ilia..." Amanda's heart once again found it hard to go on under the strain. "What...what are you doing here?"_

_Chance wagged his head happily, "Mama, I think he came for my birthday!" He looked up at his father, "Did you come to say happy birthday?"_

_Ilia looked down at his son, his posture slack, and his face gray. "Happy birthday." He whispered._

_Seemingly having forgotten his tart feelings towards the man who touched his mother, Chance beamed with glee. "Mama and I are making cake." He chatted. "Vanilla cake, huh mama?"_

_Amanda and Ilia starred at each other, a darkened cloud hanging above them. Something was wrong._

_"Huh mama?" The boy persisted._

_"Yeah." Amanda said quietly. _

_Chance grinned, and shrugged. "The best cake we ever made, I've never made a cake before. I bet you can't wait to try it, huh?" Not giving his guest time to comment, the kid continued. "Hey, what's your name?"_

_A little surprised, Ilia finally looked back down to his eloquent son. "Ilia."_

_"That's a girly name." Replied the boy._

_Amanda decided it was time to cut off her son, "Hey, Chance_..._why don't you..." Amanda glanced about, "Why don't you go...play...for a few minutes. I'll come and get you when I am done talking to Mr. Ivankovich, and we'll all finish the cake together. Okay?"_

_The idea fit well to Chance, and he nodded fiercely, "Yeah! Together." With that, he made his exit into the hall and towards their bedroom, laughing probably at the prospect of messing up their companies suit with cake mix._

_Amanda didn't wait long before she began to speak, "Ilia-"_

_"You've been here the whole time." He nearly sobbed, his voice haggard and tired. "I thought I told you to leave L2."_

_"But-"_

_"Amanda, I said to leave L2. Why did you stay?"_

_"Because-"_

_Ilia shook his head and closed the space between them with two long steps, "Never mind that, it's not important. Grab him, Mandy...and a jacket...I've got some money; we've got to leave. We'll go back to Earth."_

_"What's wrong?" The fear she had felt earlier was crashing back into her, beating her._

_Ilia managed some up every horror in one sentence; even covering worries she never knew was there, ones possibly her mother had had for a long time ago. "Barton is coming both of you." _

(184)-(-)-(_Seven O'clock_)-(-)-(-)

_Amanda hated him suddenly, hated him for her, but most of all for their son. She should have stayed away, she should have borrowed money from Helen, or she should have listened and not been so hard headed. She should have gone back to Earth. She shouldn't have stayed on that god-forsaken colony. Above all, she should have listened to her mother._

_In her mind she could here Chance giggling, calling to her, and then a scream only a mother could imagine followed by the searing sound of silence. _

_"Chance!" Amanda grabbed a jacket for both of them, and ran back to her room where she knew she would find chance._

_Putting her hand on the door, Amanda looked back down the hall towards the living room, straight down the hall the apartment door gaping open, taunting her. "Ilia?" _

...Love can make happiness, but can't buy safety...__

_The foreign sound of a gun ringing out in her apartment burned her soul. "Ilia!" She had not finally gotten him to loose her son's father; he had come to save them. She didn't hate him. She wanted him to be with her!_

_Amanda's hand let go of the knob, and at a pace she didn't know she could achieve, she ran back to the living room. _

_In a modest tangle of limbs, Ilia lay face down on the floor. "Ilia-..." She wouldn't loose him...she had a choice! Plummeting down next to him, Amanda rolled him over. "Ilia!"_

_A stray bead of blood ran down the bridge of his nose and into his sleep-deprived and sunken blank eyes. Just above his nose, slightly skewed to the left, a small black fleshy hole drain it's contents like a stray stream. _

_"So you must be Amanda. I'm sorry we've never formally met." Said a man.._

_Amanda dry heaved, crawling away from the corpse in tears. She had never gotten to say I love you, never once...not once had she ever returned it to him. _

_"My name is Dechem Barton. My daughter was married to that carcass there." He dispassionately gestured to the body. "Again, I apologize, you see...but this just doesn't fit well with my plans. There is an old saying that works well for this situation." He said thoughtfully._

_The sound of fire distally roared in the kitchen, but Amanda just stared at her hands, her body quaking, and her mind precariously flat lining._

_"I believe it was said by Zelda Fitzgerald." Dechem stepped forward from his portentous position just barely out of sight, a deplorable image at hand; Chance's limp body in his arms, horrendously dark bruises caressing his neck. "It is the loose ends with which men hang themselves. She was a very brilliant lady, and it is a saying I live by, and other die by." He said looking back to Ilia's still form._

Chance!_ How could she have forgotten her son! What sort of mother was she? Amanda scrambled to her feet and lunged for her child, but fell to the ground as one expertly place shot entered chest and exited her back._

_Dechem stepped over her body, and nudged her onto her back with his polished boot. "Are you still alive? Well...I'll be damned." He laughed dropping the boy onto her abdomen. "You should have been a soldier, a will like yours is a scarce commodity." Rather than shooting her again, he left her jolting in shock on the rug. _

_"You won't make it far in heat." Dechem alleged with a smile. "I put the cake in your oven, be sure to tell your boy Happy Birthday for me, would you?"_

(199)-(-)-(_The Hall of Duo's Apartment Building -12:30 am-_)-(-)-(-)

No, no...Duo was wrong. Quatre bounced a little on his feet feeling responsible for allowing Duo to think such a thing about his mother. Everyone needed that love, or at least the knowledge that it was there for them. How could he have fallen into that trap and doubted for one moment is mother hadn't loved him, cared for him, cried for him when she died, and that she was sitting under Ala's vast embrace proud of him. Smiling for him.

Her portrait in his deceased father's office loomed in his mind, her wide sparkling eyes, soft flaxen hair; she was so much more than beautiful. In the mental image, his father was in the picture as well, his arm around her slender shoulders, smiling.

"I'll make sure he understands..." Quatre said aloud, finally knocking on Duo's apartment door. Minutes passed, and no one answered. "Huh...He must be with Heero. Well, if there is anyone who can pound it into his head, it's Heero." He added as an afterthought.

(-)-(-)-(----**_D_**_uo's **D**ream_---)-(-)-(-)

"Hush now my child..." The voice was hauntingly slow, the tune lost in pain; agony woven under each forced word.  "No need to cry-..." The voice broke as the woman drug in ragged breath, shaking Duo's eyes open. He was resting on her stomach; smoke wafting in and out of his lungs. "I'll...make...all...your...dreams come true..." She was fading right under him, but he wasn't crying, he didn't understand.

Duo couldn't move, he was frozen under the golden glow of the flames, struggling to hear the young woman's words; each verse of the song becoming quieter. "Be...it _chance_...that I got you...or God's grace...all I know...is love...when I see your bright face..." 

A crash in the background covered up her words again, someone was there! With every once of his energy, Duo rolled his head, his eyes catching the subtle forms of people in the smoke.

"Hey there's a kid and a woman in here! A man too!"

The contours of a face came within inches of Duo's, examining him with great interest. "The woman's dead, but the kids awake!"

"Dr. _G_arron the fire fighters aren't here yet, just grab the kid, don't get all weird on me now!"

_No, No_...Duo could still hear the woman's departing whispers she wasn't dead! "I'll make...all...your dreams come...true...only because...I love you.... Just you..." For a flit of a instant, Duo saw her eyes open to look at him, her loving stare glazed with tears. "Chan..." Duo looking through himself and recognized the dilating eyes, the cool tears making snail trails on her dirty face, but the boy didn't know the finality of the scene.

Without warning, the weak older man hoisted him with effort over his shoulder. The woman's broken lullaby drifting in Duo's mind: Be it chance that I got you, or God's grace...All I know is love...when I see your bright face...

...I love you...just you...

Without meaning to, Duo's mouth opened, "Mama...I love you...."

(-)-(-)-(_Heero's Apartment -1 am-_)-(-)-(-)

Startled, Duo's eyes lids snapped apart, his sight blurry and stinging. Had he been crying? That's right, he was in Heero's room, he had come there from his house after Quatre dropped him off, and there was _no_ fire. That golden red beast had eaten everything he loved, and any moment now an angry spark from a cord could engulf him and his boyfriend lying vulnerable in bed.

How often did he really think about his parents? How much did he remember of them? Why did he only think of _her_ when he tried to recall them?

Duo lie quietly in bed, Heero's strong arms wrapped tightly around him, consoling his sudden relapse into arsonphobia unconsciously.

"Heero..."

"Mmmm..." Duo could feel Heero's eyes open, his hazy stare on the back of Duo's head.  "Duo? Why are you still awake." 

"Do you think you parents loved you?" A long thoughtful silence ensued in the private moment the two shared behind closed doors. "Heero?"

"Yes, they loved me." He finally said.

Duo found himself rolling over, and fixing Heero with a curious look. "Did you know them? Do you remember them?"

Heero squinted quizzically, "No."

Frustrated, Duo's voice deepened. "How do you know then?"

Heero cleared his throat, "One time, on X18999, someone told me to act on your feelings and you'll never regret the fact."-Duo nodded-"Well, this follows the same principle, my feelings tell me they did. I may not know what happened to them, they may have been kamikaze terrorists, or possibly a small family at a Shinto shrine, but I feel they loved me whatever way they could."

Duo grinned, "I never thought I'd hear that from you. I don't know where I got off thinking you never contemplated this sort of thing. That person who told you that, what did he say afterwards?"

"He basically called me a brat, told me not to die, then later died himself."

Duo made an O shape with his mouth, and lowered his head a bit. "Was he important to you?"

A private smirk surfaced on Heero's face, "Let me leave it at this Duo... if I was to pick an immediate father figure... one I knew, felt concern over, and perhaps loved... I would have chosen him. I choose him to be the body which represents the love I know my parents had for me, that old fool..."-Heero sighed quietly-"Why are you asking this?"

"I've been thinking about my mother."

"Did you know _your_ mother?"

"No." Duo mumbled.

Heero shook his head, "Do you remember her?"

"I remember she was beautiful...I have been wondering if she would be proud of me, I _want_ her to be proud of me...I wonder if she even loved me..."

An odd sound filled the room, one even Duo himself rarely heard, Heero laughing.

Shoving away from Heero lightheartedly, Duo mock-scowled. "Do your '_Feelings'_ tell you that my dilemma is amusing and to laugh at me?" Heero continued his inappropriately incessant laughter. "_What_?"

"How could someone _not_ love you Duo?" 

(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)

~The End ~ Jiendo ~ Fini ~

(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)

**Ending Note**: I did a bit of research into the canon Gundam Wing and it's concluding movie Endless Waltz and formulated a plausible occurrence between Dechem Barton and Duo's father Ilia. ^-^ Thanks!!! AND LOVE!!! _Freefall_ you didn't leave me an e-mail! Thank you for reviewing. ^-^ I hope to hear from you and everyone else again on part 2.

**__**_ Please check the next part (where the next chapter would have been found) and further understand my fanfic!!_

**ReddAlice's new quote:**

Genetics explain why you look like your father-and if you don't, why you should!

When people run round and round in circles, we say they're crazy. When planets do it, we say they're orbiting.


	4. Official Ending Note Please read

THE OFFICIAL ENDING NOTE TO BROKEN LULLABY! ^-^ Read if you have time, but no worries if you don't!

Sorry if any of the below is tangled with poor grammar, I wanted to get Lullaby Part 2 posted ASAP!! ^-^ I'll come back and fix it soon, and that will also give Lullaby a second run. Thank you!!!

C**haracters By Order of Appearance** **grins childishly**-

**_Ilia Ivankovich_** – A highly decorated pawn of Mr. Barton through out the beginning movement of the original O.M.. This man at first supplied Dechem with hard to find… gundanium that he got solely off the black market while in short supply. His age is unknown, but he's been working hard for a long time to support himself and by fate's cruel design ends up working on the wrong side of the track, for the wrong man, and bullied into marring his daughter, Leia.

After the object of his affection walks in on a deal going sour, he is forced to turn Amanda and her mother away for their own safety; little did he know Dechem kept close tabs on her just in case he would ever have to use her as an angel to harrying Ilia into doing work. 

Most of Ilia's great attributes are apparent in his son even though they knew little of each other, such as Ilia's commanding and good-natured presence.

**Amanda (Mandy) Alexander** – Raised by a single Mother Amanda grew up knowing how hard it was to survive on her own, little did she know, she would be doing it too someday. After her mother's illness crippled her working capability, Amanda took up her mother's position at the garage sacrificing her writing and school to do so. However her reasons where a little less that honest or noble, since her mother had started working that she had been acutely aware of the chemistry between her and her mother's boss.

After being fired and banned from the garage, Amanda finds out she is pregnant with a son, drops out of school, gets a minimum wage waitressing job, her mother dies, and she gives birth. This all adds to the simple complexities that create her determination to be the best mother anyone could be! She wanted to be as good of a mother as hers was, if not better, even if she had to do it alone.

Though Amanda had always been aware of Ilia's other business she didn't stay away, and searched Ilia out not just for money, but also for love and the desire for her son to know her father. In the end, maybe she should have listened to her mother and let Ilia go.

**Mrs. Alexander** – is Amanda sickly and mysteriously aware mother. She took a job as a mechanic at a garage, but fell rapidly ill to cancer and eventually couldn't work. She knew all along about the feelings between her daughter and boss, and had valuable words of wisdom from a woman who had been there and done that.

**Helen** – Any Duo Maxwell fan knows who Helen is; she's from the church. True to her word, next time Chance sees Helen (as Duo) she is in fact a nun. After Amanda's (and Chance's supposed) death Helen is struck by severe grief, and in her anguish she turns to god. Never in Duo's stay does she think him to be Chance, but she wishes he was and tries to protect him the way she wanted to her godson. If you read episode zero this hypothesis works out well, it even fits the odd emotions you always see in her face.

Contrary to common belief Sister Helen is actually a young woman in her mid-to-late twenties, the perfect age to be Amanda's best childhood friend.

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**Dechem Barton** – The true creator of operation meteor! Dechem trapped Ilia under his claw for his connections, then kept him around for work moral when he was no longer needed. He is a very straightforward uncomplicated man, with simple reasons of genocide and world destruction fueling him, always willing to sacrifice even his grandchild for higher ideals. 

His actions basically create Duo who later comes back in Dechem's own plan with his fellow gundam pilots and destroy him and all his plans. Had he never killed Ilia and Amanda, if he had just let them go, he may have survived his own stupidity. Then again, the scientists all along had different plans for the Gundams.

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**Chance Alexander** – ^-^ I don't need to say much about Duo, because… well he is Duo and his part is explained by the cast. What do you think? Did he keep his hair because it reminded him of his mother? Was he the loose end that hung Dechem?

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**Mrs. King**- An bitchy neighbor who at first fancies Chance's bright purple-blue eyes, but after a trial session, the commander being Chance, she finds the boy's larger-than-life nature to be too much.

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**Milo**- The whipped apartment owner, he conned his wife into giving the young mother a chance; but when Mrs. King and Milo's wife team up to get Amanda and her noisy "hellion" evicted for breaching her contract nothing is to stop them, especially not a cowering husband. The breach in the contract, you ask? No children.

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**The Butter Man** – ^-^ You'll never guess who this cold freak is? Quinze on his way to see Dechem.

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**_The Secretary/Leia Barton Ivankovich_**- Not at all as bad as she may seem, Leia is an emotional character. She traded high school for nursing school and work for her father's medical facility, but then for her father she marries Ilia to strengthen business ties (and so Barton can completely get his claws into him) at the tender age of 16. LoL. He picks 'em young doesn't he?

Under her father's wishes she drops the last name Ivankovich.

Having been really in love with Ilia, she is heart broken after his death and takes a small change for the sweeter and returns to her love of nursing… where she later meets the suave Treize and gives Dechem Barton the necessary heir he needs for dominance, Marimeia.

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**The Savior Neighbor & Dr. _G_arron**- because they are not the focus I decided to let you piece together these two characters yourself during the story and then comment on them afterward. This is Duo's first encounter with Dr. G. 

Dr. G was visiting Duo's neighbor and discussing important plans unbeknownst to his technical employer Mr. Barton when they smelt smoke and heard the ravaging of a fire. Baka Duo doesn't even recognize him in his dream… or maybe that was Chance's way of protecting himself, forgetting. Nevertheless, this is where Dr. G takes an interest in the boy for his resilience and later recognizes him as the stowaway on the ship just before he is asked if he wants to pilot a gundam.

Did Dr. G know that Dechem was the murderer and arsonist? Did he later choose Duo specifically because Dechem had seen him worthy to destroy? _It is the loose ends with which men hang themselves. _Duo was quite the loose end to leave.


End file.
